Before & After by Matthew Thomas · 29 June 2007
It’s not often that I start a book and don’t finish it, but it’s happened.
Let me make one thing perfectly clear. I expected this book to be a farce. I mean, I did buy it after reading that tagline “A novel about exploding sheep, Nostradamus and the End of the World.” But, I also thought it had the potential to be, well … funny. (It didn’t hurt that the aforementioned sheep were very cutely illustrated on the front and back covers either).
What I found in Before and After was a book in which the plot was obscured by the awkwardness of the writing. Any wit that the author may have been trying to impart was lost in the over abundance of his metaphors, description, and the overall feeling that he was really really trying to be funny.
The book started out with a painfully stilted introduction, in which “Colin’s inadequate intellect struggled beneath the weight of his vision. Finally, his mind cracking under the unnatural strain, he went quietly mad.”
Undaunted, I continued. So did the book, meandering into our introduction to the main character, the historical Nostradamus, now known as “Mike.” On page 4, we were introduced to Mike’s cat. On page 5, the author described Mike’s school and its hungover students. On page 6, we met Mike’s department receptionist, and on page 7 she tried to woo him with his horoscope.
Mike did his best to look engrossed, which mainly involved grinning idiotically and nodding like a backseat plastic dog. Dazzling him with astrology was right next to the door marked impossible – the phrase ‘bombs to Beirut’ sprang to mind.
On page 20 and 21, we take a wandering tour of London with Mike’s department chair as he travels the tube.
In no time at all (or so it seemed) he stood before the sleek space-aged lines of London’s multi-million-pound monument to the Millennium. Like some 1970s idea of extraterrestrial architecture, dreamed up by an under-financed special effects designed, the huge dome glistened under the bright morning sun. This illustrious edifice, however, was not constructed from old egg cartons, washing-up bottles and enough sticky-backed plastic to make Valerie Singleton go weak at the knees – oh no. Like Kubla Khan’s dome-based holiday home this building came with a far more hefty price tag.
By the time I got to page 22, the book needed another metaphor like it needed a punch in the eye.
In the 50 pages that I read before stopping, the plot jumped from exploding sheep, to eccentric professors given to midnight revelations, to horny students, to horoscope wielding receptionists, to department chairs manipulated by The Powers the Be, to insurance scams, to the aliens who really built the pyramids. Dizzying? Apparently we haven’t even started.
Even if I was willing to humor the author and go along with the lack of cohesive plot, the writing style of this book was off-putting to me.
Thomas seemed to over-embrace one popular tenant of creative writing “needs more description” and totally disregard the other “show, don’t tell.” (The infamous run on sentence also made quite a few appearances).
The perspective of the narrator was constantly shifting, which made it hard to get a grip on the story. Thomas also played fast and loose with the rules of grammar, possibly for effect. I don’t mind a little non-traditional grammar as a stylistic method, but this book abounded with it, creating yet another barrier to the reader getting into the world the author was trying to create.
I meant to give the book another 50 pages, I really did. It seemed like the last 10 pages I had read were slightly better than the first, so I was willing to see if the book could continue the upward trend. But on the drive home Thursday night, I listened to the radio program Loveline, featuring Dr. Drew and Striker. As I pulled into neighborhood, just moments from picking up Before & After and seeing if the book could redeem itself, the final caller changed my mind.
The caller, a 20-something woman introduced herself as a pre-school teacher, had a bit of friendly banter with the hosts, then asked, “So . . . sometimes my boyfriend talks about killing me. Is that normal?”
My reaction to this question was probably the same as any sane person with a bit of distance from the situation. “Hell no, that’s not normal; it’s terrifying. Run. Run as fast as you can.” The hosts echoed my own feelings, letting the caller know that something was seriously wrong with the situation. The caller, however, kept trying to justify what a nice guy her boyfriend was, and how this was completely “not a big deal.”
Extreme cases like this remind me of my own tendency to start accepting things just because they are familiar, settling for less than I intend to without really realizing it. As I exited the car and turned the key in the door to my home I resolved not to let my first impressions on the book be dulled by the effect of familiarity. I didn’t like it and I don’t have to give it more of my time just because I’d started to grow used to it.
There were some people that did like the book. You can read their reviews here:
And a person who felt the way I did:
Apocalypse,
Armageddon,
Before & After,
Dr. Drew and Striker,
Fantasy,
Humor,
Loveline,
Matthew Thomas,
Nostradamus
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jean pierre · 30 June 2007, 05:36
thanks for the cool review – and the warning really! this is the kind of thing that i might’ve picked up…
you explain why you don’t like it really well and from your review i can see what wrong with it. thanks for adding the links to the other reviews too.
Chris · 30 June 2007, 19:58
Oh brother! What a train wreck! I agree with Jean Pierre…this definitely sounds like something that I would’ve picked up had I seen it, but seriously…all of that in 50 pages?! It sounds like the author just tried a little bit too hard with this one.
Nymeth · 1 July 2007, 03:32
Silly as this may sound, I really wanted your review to be good, just because the cover is so cute!
I definitely understand your reaction, though. If there’s something I can’t stand, it’s the writing style getting in the way of the story.
And that’s so scary about that caller. That poor woman. I hope she realizes soon that just because the situation is familiar, it doesn’t mean it is normal or acceptable in the least.
Kim · 2 July 2007, 07:22
jean pierre and Chris – No problem! It sounded like it had a lot of potential, but just didn’t live up to it. Glad to save you guys the time of having to discover that yourselves.
Nymeth – I have to confess the driving force in my decision to purchase this in the first place was the cuteness of the sheep. I had a hard time posting the book on paperbackswap.com, just because it looks good on my bookshelf.
jean pierre · 3 July 2007, 02:06
i would’ve bought it just for the cover too! oh well, its still a cute cover…
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